Another problem with Google Ads

Was having a hot chat over Gmail with my slut about torturing her various ways, including putting mousetraps on various sensitive body parts… so in the sidebar, Google asks, “Problem with rats in the attic??” Eww. No.

I always found it funny how American friends would fail to understand why we had so many strikes over things they felt were trivial but now the web is full of angry voices saying "start the revolution" but dont know how they are started and more importantly how they are put down.

Anna one, anna two, anna…

I’m not a psychopath
I’m just a failure

please see the difference

Another oops-I-lost-therria dream. Only in this one I was thinking about who ariadnae had her eyes on while I was away, too, (her 1st Master?)

Wait, I wasn't actually in jail recently, was I?

Jail, hitchhiking, what's the difference.

Also a dream where I took an elevator up to a highrise hospital room where my mom worked and was being quizzed by her coworker ("I haven''t seen you since you were this big!") and didn't come out looking favourably. ("So,w here'd you go to school? What've you been up to? Your girlfriend?")

’Quake in D.C. Of course it gets me thinking about Llamaril.
And who will I go to the go-gos with?…

I hate this song,
because now I know the answer.

Hiro did not attend Juanita and Da5id’s wedding; he was languishing in jail, into which he had been thrown a few hours before the rehearsal. He had been found in Golden Gate Park, lovesick, wearing nothing but a thong, taking long pulls from a jumbo bottle of Courvoisier and practicing kendo attacks with a genuine samurai sword, floating across the grass on powerfully muscled thighs to slice other picnickers’ hurtling Frisbees and baseballs in twain. Catching a long fly ball with the edge of your blade, neatly halving it like a grapefruit, is not an insignificant feat. The only drawback is that the owners of the baseball may misinterpret your intentions and summon the police.

He got out of it by paying for all the baseballs and Frisbees, but since that episode, he has never even bothered to ask Juanita whether or not she thinks he’s an asshole. Even Hiro knows the answer now.

I wish you knew how hard I tried…
I wish it were enough.

¿Quién me necesita más? But of course it’s not about that… but it’s hard to imagine wanting anything right now.

How I feel/felt about her seems distant, almost like a dream… and maybe that’s how it has to be.

It's really funny 'cause I was wanting to write a post trying to articulate how I felt last summer - even at the time, I realize, it didn't feel... It felt like "now," but it didn't feel like... on the plane of my usual experiences. Like it was still me, but living someone else's life, moment to moment felt like a different state of consciousness somehow. Dammit, I think I had a better way of explaining this before. You know, like sometimes you can look back at when you were younger, and realize that the feeling of experiencing life moment to moment somehow felt different when you were, say, 10, or 3, or 17? Or like how different cities feel, aside from the smell, or weather, or time of day; you're in this different place, and the corresponding consciousness sort of feels different. I guess that was it. It wasn't just the drive up and that different place. EVEN BACK HERE FELT LIKE THERE. I guess maybe that's it. This sort of trasladable consciousness.

And I just realized - I don't know if/why I never made this association before - of course I've been capable of projecting it on her, for some of the blither, perkier, more naïve or idealistic happy pronouncements she's made... but why would I think myself so immune, and cool, and irrational? Just 'cause I'm fucking miserable. Of course my state of consciousness was different. My brain was pumping out a different set of chemicals.

That was some pretty good shit, though.

Memo to myself

If I fail at this it will not be indicative of any larger failing or ineptitude, but simply an unsuitability for this particular thing.

Every time I tell your father your name breaks my heart.

I wonder how many people most people have had tell them “Please don’t contact me again.” I must have some particular talent

Losing someone

Doesn’t matter how it happens

Your pal,

“If you want to call, a blubbering mass of sadness, you can. Anytime.”

Marriage sucks

________________________________
> From: Llamaril
> Subject: Request 
> Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2011 14:12:29 -0400 
>  
> You wrote, in a recent email, about 'nude black and whites.'  Of me,  
> presumably. 
>  
> I don't want to continue a sexual/flirtatious relationship with you,  
> because I think it would hurt my marriage. 
>  
> Please don't email me again. 
>  
>  

And yet I listen to it every day

Randi Rhodes makes me miss you so consistently... Ugh.

For the record

Randi Rhodes predicts Obama is going to push for revenue increases (if not repealing Bush tax cuts, then closing loopholes + corporate welfare) and public works stimulus.