Mostly feeling OK so far today I think because she did lay her head on my shoulder + give me a kiss but no even goodbye hug when the bus came but after last night when we stumbled from the bar to the Puerto Rican place but instead of her feeding me post-drinking food my new boss ended up, as I was mid-sentence, looking me in the eyes and kissing me on the mouth, and then us making out against the building for quite some time as passersby hooted appreciatively, we woke up and talked and after realizing what a mess I am (duh!) she decided because she’s so driven I really wasn’t worth her time, which is like obvious but even though ariadnæ was on my mind + I was feeling a little bad and going “OK, making out is kind of alright but we can’t have sex before I talk with ariadnæ” and not even sure how much that attracted to her I was though I couldn’t help noticing little daydream-y crush-y things about her at work, like her smile and how pretty she looked in her dress and she’s rad but after feeling her in my arms + waking up next to her + then, you know, sort of feeling rejected, it’s like, ah, man, I don’t know how I’m going to not want more of this every day at work all summer.