Came last night with ariadnæ—sort of sin querer (me tocaba pero no quería acabar sin la nenita; I wasn’t really in a position I could try to detenerlo una vez que empezó and tbh she had made Me super-hard two nights running); felt like I was being a softie by indulging her pero al final she moaned so loud and long I felt like it was probably worth it—and am now feeling somewhat indifferent, like she’s older, not as hot aunque da morbo, more of a pain, more likely to fracasar espectacularmente, etc. But then I remember the ansia/anguish I felt when I felt like I was losing her and figure I’ll just never be happy.

Actually suddenly finding myself not caring about much + I’m blaming the lack of sleep